Wardrobe Wednesday

This is Violet's costuming vision for her 5th birthday party. Polka dot backdrop optional. She is full of ideas lately.

Some random quotes from my dotty little girl:

"Mary! You are not a ghost. Look in the mirror."  Mary is a white, stuffed dog.

"Boobies are funny." Said from the toilet, as she watched me get in the shower.

"Ouch! Mama, you need to clean this room. I stepped on this thing and it hurt." She said this after totally rejecting the verity of my own injury in her messy room.

"Mary stayed awake all night! She is teaching all the other animals to stay up all night!"

"Mama!! I slept in my clothes. I looked down this morning and I was like, OH My God! I never put pajamas on."

"That toothpaste is too spicy." We ran out of her mild, mint kid paste and she had to use the grown up stuff.

"Actually...Mary hates all animals...but only zoo animals." The word actually is a favorite of Violet's.

What have your kids been saying lately?

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Quoth the Violet

Last night after watching the Grammys, I took a swig of Nyquil and headed to bed. Aaron took his sleeping pill, so we were pretty much unreachable after 20 minutes.  About midnight, I remember seeing a blurry shape standing next to the bed. The shape claimed to be my child and wanted in the big bed. I was powerless to stop her, but I went on with my usual strategy and asked the kid why she needed to sleep with us.

Vi: There's no clock in my room. I can't tell what time it is.
Me: {{aggleflaggle}} You don't know how to tell time, baby.
Vi: I know Mama.
Me: {{{{whoompyflappy}} {{{snore}}}

I woke to a completely naked sleeping child between me and my husband.  Her clothes were piled on top of the blankets, alongside the cat.

************

There's a fun new blog called Things My Child Says and if you click over you can read another bit of wisdom from my Violet.  Submit something too, while you're there.

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Dinner Conversation

Scene: Heathen Family Kitchen

Violet is sitting in front of a dish of mostly uneaten macaroni & cheese (from the box)

that her mother cleverly stupidly doctored up with some chicken broth.

Violet:

I am done.

Mama:

OK.

Violet:

I am going to frow dis in da twash.

Mama:

How 'bout we give it to Pixie.

Violet:

OK. Pixie will like dis.

Mama:

Why didn't you like it.

Violet:

It was poisoned.....

(pause for effect)

Here Pixie, Pixie, Pixie!

*In this house all dishes calling themselves macaroni & cheese must be prepared with limp elbows, yellow cheese and a blandly uniform texture.  All imposters will be refused.

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Morning Comedy

Scene:

Heathen Family Parental Bed

8:30 AM

Kelly: I forgot to get coffee yesterday. Will you go to Starbucks? I'll make pancakes.

Aaron: (whining) This is Sunday. The only day I get to sleep late.

Kelly: It is late. Maybe you shouldn't have let the zombies keep you up so long?

Aaron: You want me to just leave the zombies...alive?

Classic marital silence ensues for 30 seconds.

Aaron: Fine. I'll go get your SHIT and then I am coming back to bed.

Violet: (perking up fom her spot between her parents) Daddy! We don't need a SHIP.

Much laughter, but more importantly, compliance from Aaron.

End Scene

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Placebo Effect

Scene:

Heathen Family Nursery

Bedtime

Daddy: Goodnight baby.

Violet:  My belly doesn't feel good.

Daddy:  It will feel better when you go to sleep.

Violet:   I can't sleep.

Daddy:  Close your eyes.

Violet:  My belly doesn't feeeeeel good! 

Daddy:  Okay.

Daddy goes to the bathroom and returns with a cup full of water.

Daddy:  Would you like some placebo medicine to make your belly feel better?

Violet:  Yes, I would.

Daddy:  Here you go.

Violet:  It tastes like water.

Daddy:  I know. That's placebo.

Violet:  Thank you Daddy. I feel better.

End Scene

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