Showing posts with label toys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label toys. Show all posts

Friday, February 20, 2009

Recently Uncovered

Last weekend I made a big deal about our trip to IKEA and then... nothing.  I know you are all clinging to the edges of your seats waiting to see the $5 case of drinking glasses and the dozen multi-colored, plastic bag clips I bought.  I'm sorry, but I warned you I was on a mission.

The trip to IKEA was part of a larger and much more sinister plan to  organize my Pink Room. It is so-called, because it has pink carpet. The iridescent lillies on the wall would cause any child to have nightmares, so this room has always been a junk depository working room.

I resolve to clean this room twice a year and yet it always returns to this condition, because we don't have proper storage. The room is a hodgepodge of old dressers and mismatched desks, which take up more space than they save. Papers are stored in cardboard boxes. Tools are stored in shopping bags. It's a disgrace.  It is impossible to find anything.

This week I have made great progress. We bought tables and shelving on our trip to IKEA and I have begun to exert control over the rogue Pink Room.  Of course, whenever I undertake a job like this I get sucked into  nostalgia at some point.  Today I opened a giant plastic tub marked, "Kelly's High School Box."  The result made me and Violet very happy. She got some "new" toys and I was able to let go of some things that I once deemed too precious to throw away. 

 
  
Clearly, these items are not from high school.  I must have decided I couldn't be bothered to write, "Kelly's Box of Stuff that She Can't Figure Out What to Do With and Yet Can't Bring Herself to Throw Away."  Violet let out a gasp of joy when she saw the plastic charm necklace.  It was enough to make me abandon my planned speech about how to take care of special things.  I think she gets it.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

The Exquisite Minutia of Stuffed Animal Management

In the wee, small, dark hours of this morning I awoke to the sound of Violet complaining, loudly, in her room. She wasn't crying, just bitching. When I got to her bed, she was sitting up and staring intently at the pink, plaid pattern on her flannel sheets. Vi pointed at the design as if to say, "Why plaid Mommy?"

Me: What is it?
Violet: whining
Me: I don't speak whine.
Violet: exaggerated whining
Me: Use your words.
Violet: wounded animal sounds
I gave up trying to plumb the depths of her mind for evidence of plaid fears and took her to use the potty. The change in scenery usually shakes her from her weird dreams, so she can get back to sleep. Of course, removing her from bed means that I will have to endure the torturous rearrangement of the babies. Violet must have Knuffle Bunny (you know Mo Willems, right?), Baby Rojo and Honey Bear all in her arms. All of their faces must be visually accessible and even with Violet's head. No one is permitted to do this for her. Violet must arrange the menagerie herself and then she directs the placement of the blankets over herself and the trio of lovies. There is a bizarre precision involved here that only my OCD husband can appreciate or understand. When I am tired and suffering from insomnia (as I have been lately), the fuse on my Mommy Bomb is very short. Violet's malcontent act is very hard for me to handle without resorting to clenching my jaw and saying the mean things that my cave woman brain pushes to the surface in the eerie glow of an Ikea nightlight ( a light that simultaneously frightens and comforts my persnickity child).  I managed to hold it together this morning, largely by imagining the blog post I could write. Words, are my salvation...

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Oh Yeah Babe, I Hate Video Games Too!

 
Approximately 8 years, six weeks and 2 days ago I had my first real conversation with Aaron. We were both working the cash register at a bookstore and it was a slow night. He was clearly interested and like any charming rogue, he knew that most women are easily seduced by the sound of their own voice. Aaron started asking me the usual flirty questions. "Where are you from?" "What's your favorite book?" "Do you have a husband/boyfriend/illegitimate child?" Blah, Blah Blah. I played along, answering like a charming smart ass, until he asked me, "What do you look for in a guy?" The question plucked at a sore spot in my psyche and I blurted out; "I'll tell you what I'm NOT looking for. I don't want to date anyone who plays video games! I hate them." I'm sure I probably elaborated. Perhaps, I recited my list of grievances with previous boyfriends and their damned game machines. He quickly agreed with me and then changed the subject. Our courtship started in earnest and before I knew it I was waking up in Aaron's tiny one bedroom apartment more often than I was waking up in my own bed. About two weeks in, he got that I have to tell you something look on his face. Here it comes, I thought. He's about to tell me he has an STD or a wife or a criminal record. Aaron got up and went to the closet and pulled a towel wrapped object from the top shelf. It was a PlayStation. Aaron had no idea how I was going to react to this and he was well aware of the risk he was taking. He had lied to me. I said I hated video games and he instantly made the decision to hide his gaming passion. Given my explosive speech, he probably feared that I would get up and leave, but I already loved him. I was so relieved that this was his terrible secret that I told him as much. Yes, I told my futue husband that I loved him while he clutched the machine I had feared the most. I told him it was okay. I assured him that if he had managed to keep his hands off of it for two whole weeks, he must have more self control than other men with video game festishes. Of course, I now know that the only thing that will distract a man from his PlayStation is a naked lady and since I was mostly naked during those first weeks of our relationship, the game machine was easily forgotten.
Aaron's Man Cave accessories multiplied rapidly in the light of day. In fact, my mother-in-law was so incredulous when we announced our hasty marriage, that she said she would buy Aaron a PlayStation 2 if he could produce a valid marriage license. These days, I'm not naked nearly enough to keep the digital beasts at bay. I now live with a PlayStation 3, a PlayStation Portable, a Wii (which I actually use) and this unfinished monstrosity arcade game cabinet you see here.

On Monday, Aaron and I will be married 8 years. I am so glad he lied to me about that DAMN PlayStation...
He's the best thing that ever happened to me.

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Does your husband have a Man Cave, or at least the stuff to fill it? Tell The Parent Bloggers Network and BillMeLater all about it and you could win seed money for future additions to the cave.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Not-Wordless Wednesday

 
How is it possible that one child, weighing less than 30 pounds and logging in just over 3 years of life, could accumulate this much crap? These photos only represent a quarter of Violet's possessions and accroutrement.  She also has three different car seats, in three different vehicles. Violet has an extensive (albeit mostly second hand) wardrobe and a vast library of picture books. If you dismantled all of her stuffed animals and harvested the fluff, you could make yourself a pretty nice futon mattress. Grandma's house is starting to fill with toys as well. It's ridiculous. I tried for about 2 years to keep Violet's toy cache to a minimum. I respectfully asked people to purchase natural toys, instead of plastic cartoon themed garbage. I suggested books. I made lists of developmentally appropriate educational play things. Instead, I got hastily purchased, splinter-filled wood puzzles from Wal-Mart and mountains of stuffed creatures. I could hear the whispering about my "expensive taste" when it came to all things Violet. Even my mother-in-law began to express her concerns about how I "wanted too much".  I know I frustrated everyone when I declared Christmas 2007 a plastic-free holiday, but Violet already gets enough lead in her diet from the 110 year old house she lives in.  So, I gave up.  I have surrendered to the toy army and they have multiplied like a well-fed rabbit colony. Of course, my instincts were always right. The volume of available toys has not made my life easier. Violet does not entertain herself more readily.  No. Violet cannot find anything in this mountain of plastic. I actually created the mess in the above photographs, because I knew that I needed to evaluate and categorize each and every object in the playroom. I threw some stuff out (very little actually) and removed other things for donation. I organized. Violet helped a little, but she was so enamored of these toy pieces that were suddenly returned to meaningful order that she played quietly for hours.  As I finished up the monumental task of bringing order to the toys, I remembered a passage from Bill McKibben's book Maybe One: A Personal and Environmental Argument for Single-Child Families. He talks about the "irreducible rubble of books, blocks, trucks, cars, dolls, and stuffed animals" that have taken over his own home. This is a man who doesn't own a T.V. and is constantly warning us about the destruction we are causing to our fragile environment and yet even he is powerless against the toy monster. How has the world not collapsed under the weight of all this stuff already? I am disgusted with myself and yet I know that come Christmas there will be new toys and they will not be whittled out of scrap wood.  I will stretch my tiny budget to buy expensive, non-commercial toys and my efforts will be overshadowed by a truckload of shiny plastic from our well-meaning relatives.  It's okay.  We'll just take it to Grandma's house...

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