Showing posts with label only child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label only child. Show all posts

Monday, November 10, 2008

Krazy Kelly's Childcare

My friend Monica has two lovely children that attend a YMCA Daycare. Twice a year, the daycare has an inservice day for employees and the kids need a place to go. Seeing as the bulk of my daughter's wardrobe comes second hand from Monica's kids, I graciously agree to babysit. It's good for me and for Violet to experience the disorder and periodic misery of a house full of kids. I see it as a booster shot for our Heathen Family one child policy. Just as I am beginning to get gooey while passing newborn sleepers in the supermarket, Kyra and Zander come to spend the day and cure me of my insanity. The day is made all the harder by that fact that I love these kids like I love my own and the day would go much smoother if I had the capacity for cold detachment. Really, worrying about their safety in my 110 year old house, with the wicked steps and the dirty kitchen floor is exhausting. Zander is 20 months old and teething and so everything that Violet plays with is potentially deadly, not to mention the dog food and the cat food and the petrified hunk of Play-Doh that I've already pulled out of his mouth today. Violet does not normally nap, so she had to be forceably removed from the playroom, so that Kyra and Zander could get some rest. Those kids are up at dawn and don't get home until after dark, so they NEED a nap. Violet spent nap time watching a movie in my bed after she screamed for a little bit about being separated from her sleepy soul mate.  Now, everyone is stuffed full of applesauce and peanut butter and the afternoon has wound down to a comfortable din. We are all waiting for Mommy...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Not-Wordless Wednesday

 
How is it possible that one child, weighing less than 30 pounds and logging in just over 3 years of life, could accumulate this much crap? These photos only represent a quarter of Violet's possessions and accroutrement.  She also has three different car seats, in three different vehicles. Violet has an extensive (albeit mostly second hand) wardrobe and a vast library of picture books. If you dismantled all of her stuffed animals and harvested the fluff, you could make yourself a pretty nice futon mattress. Grandma's house is starting to fill with toys as well. It's ridiculous. I tried for about 2 years to keep Violet's toy cache to a minimum. I respectfully asked people to purchase natural toys, instead of plastic cartoon themed garbage. I suggested books. I made lists of developmentally appropriate educational play things. Instead, I got hastily purchased, splinter-filled wood puzzles from Wal-Mart and mountains of stuffed creatures. I could hear the whispering about my "expensive taste" when it came to all things Violet. Even my mother-in-law began to express her concerns about how I "wanted too much".  I know I frustrated everyone when I declared Christmas 2007 a plastic-free holiday, but Violet already gets enough lead in her diet from the 110 year old house she lives in.  So, I gave up.  I have surrendered to the toy army and they have multiplied like a well-fed rabbit colony. Of course, my instincts were always right. The volume of available toys has not made my life easier. Violet does not entertain herself more readily.  No. Violet cannot find anything in this mountain of plastic. I actually created the mess in the above photographs, because I knew that I needed to evaluate and categorize each and every object in the playroom. I threw some stuff out (very little actually) and removed other things for donation. I organized. Violet helped a little, but she was so enamored of these toy pieces that were suddenly returned to meaningful order that she played quietly for hours.  As I finished up the monumental task of bringing order to the toys, I remembered a passage from Bill McKibben's book Maybe One: A Personal and Environmental Argument for Single-Child Families. He talks about the "irreducible rubble of books, blocks, trucks, cars, dolls, and stuffed animals" that have taken over his own home. This is a man who doesn't own a T.V. and is constantly warning us about the destruction we are causing to our fragile environment and yet even he is powerless against the toy monster. How has the world not collapsed under the weight of all this stuff already? I am disgusted with myself and yet I know that come Christmas there will be new toys and they will not be whittled out of scrap wood.  I will stretch my tiny budget to buy expensive, non-commercial toys and my efforts will be overshadowed by a truckload of shiny plastic from our well-meaning relatives.  It's okay.  We'll just take it to Grandma's house...

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Only Child














Have I mentioned yet that we are intentionally only having one kid. I like kids. I LOVE my kid. I get giddy when other people have multiple babies. I cannot imagine having another one of my own. So, so many complicated reasons, but in the end I know (and Aaron agrees) that we are capable of being great parents to one child. We would be mediocre parents (at best) to more. I bring this up because I had the pleasure of kid sitting for a friend the other night. The youngest child (13 months) was in my care for a whole month last summer and I'm kinda sweet on him. His older sister is Violet's age and they are BFF if you know what I mean! I have a deep reserve of patience and energy for temporary arrangements like these and I made certain to document the chaos I allowed to happen. My own daughter never behaves with such reckless abandon and I like feeling wild for a night before I clean it all up and collapse from exhaustion. In a way, I'm giving Violet short bursts of sibling experience. Her temperament is woefully similar to mine and I know that as much as she enjoys having friends over, she is also relieved when they go. Introverts we are, in the Heathen Family. I have learned how to pace myself in social situations, so as not to wind up burnt out before the festivities are through. I don't believe there is an official milestone map for this skill, but I can imagine it will be long into elementary school before Vi learns how to do it. For now, I must be her moderator. If we had more than one kid, I don't think I would ever be pleasant. Violet accommodates me. We need quiet equally and although our timing is not always perfect, we can usually muster the patience to make it to bedtime. Throw in Aaron's temperament and that is more than enough emotional multitasking for me. Yes, we are perfectly happy as a threesome.


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