Sunday, March 8, 2009


I am partially deaf right now.  Specifically, I am suffering from conductive hearing loss.  The sounds that actually reach my brain are warbly and distorted and fighting for space with the all the noises that the inside of my head makes during the course of the day.  In case you didn't know, the inside of your head sounds like a much duller, less fun version of a conch shell held up to a fully functional ear, plus the sounds of blood pumping and food chewing etc.  There is NO silence. 

I am accustomed to a certain level of noise in my life.  I live on a busy street and I hear all manner of traffic and people.  My brain simply filters these sounds out and moves on.  Now that my ear drums are swollen and infected,  my brain cannot make sense of the sounds they are conducting to my cochlear nerve. So, for the past couple of days my brain has been grasping at straws, so to speak.  When I am up and moving and engaging in my world, I can ignore my brain's attempts to turn the sound of blood pumping/cars speeding past into music.  At night, when I am trying to sleep, I am powerless to stop my brain from rummaging through the files looking for an answer to the question, "What IS that noise?"

Here's the real problem. 

I have a musical toaster.  I bought it on a whim, at Big Lots.  I was having a bad day (why else would I need a new toaster) and it cheered me up.   When the toast pops it plays the Waltz from Cinderella.  I fully expected the music to poop out after a few months, but it's going strong 12 months later.  So what?

My husband often eats a piece of toast when he comes home from work at night.  I am almost always on the verge of falling asleep when The Waltz starts to play.  Now, my damaged and foggy brain can come up with nothing else to play in my head when the noises get funky.  When I lay down to sleep I hear a 10 second snippet of The Waltz played over and over and over again.  At first, I thought my husband was making toast, only to find him asleep beside me.  Mind you, if he WERE making toast downstairs in the kitchen, I would NOT be able to hear the actual toaster from my bed. 


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