Friday, November 21, 2008

An Insufferable Dork of the Highest Order

I am something of a trivia buff...

Okay, I am a compulsive know-it-all that nobody wanted to hang out with in High School. I tried briefly in Junior High to deny my true self. I made a pact with a friend during the summer before 7th grade, which basically stated that we would "not be nerds" in the new school year. For me, that meant quitting the Prep Bowl team. Prep Bowl is Jeopardy for school kids. You folks who played sports and went to lots of boy/girl parties will be unfamiliar with this activity. We were profoundly uncool. I mistakenly believed that disavowing myself from this pasty group would somehow improve my social standing. It did not. In fact, I was even more miserable because I had defected from the one social group where I was accepted. Alas, my adolescence was a comedy of errors.

In High School I realized that I needed to play to my strengths. I became a member of the Brookfield High School Academic Challenge Team. Academic Challenge was WAY cooler than Prep Bowl, because we got to compete on TV. In the years before my stint on the team, our coach had failed to rally BHS to a victory. The problem was that Mrs. Warren was being too truthful about our skill level, so during the 1994-95 season, she made us sound like a group of blithering idiots. This assured that we would be matched up with other teams of equal stupidity when we appeared on TV. Of course, we weren't THAT stupid, so we won easily! It was the geek version of doping. Of course, during the regular season, my strategy was always SHOCK & AWE. I wore impossibly short babydoll dresses to all of our matches. I may not have been much to look at when seated next to the Cheerleading Squad, but at an Academic Challenge meet, I was a Goddess! I succeeded in forcing quite a few boys to push their glasses up, take a closer look and forget how many sides an octagon has. As an adult, I tried to parlay my High School quiz expertise into a successful run on Jeopardy. Don't get excited, I didn't even make it to the second round of the audition. When you build a strategy on short dresses, you are bound to fail.

C'mon Down ! This PBN Blog Blast is being sponsored Oliebollen. You can win fabulous prizes!

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