Monday, November 3, 2008

Crafty Heathens: Part Two, with Bonus Rant!

I had a few pairs of Underoos as a child. I remember with much affection dressing like C3PO under my clothes and, of course, there was Wonder Woman. After many searches on the vast interwebs, I have resigned myself to the fact that they no longer make Wonder Woman Underoos for little girls. I have had occasion to see LOTS of erotic Wonder Woman undies for the purpose of sexy role playing, but that is cold comfort for a mother who wants her child to experience all the clean-cut, practical fun that a set of Underoos can bring. Why are these not made anymore? Do children not wear underpants and undershirts like in the old days? Well, during a recent trip to a soul-sucking Super Wal-Mart, I observed Underoos in the boys underwear aisle. SuperMan, Batman, Hulk and SpiderMan were all there. My heart swelled! I trotted over to the girls' undie section. No Underoos! I walked a circle around that aisle 10 times, thinking I might have missed some stealth display of Girls' Underoos. There were no girls' Underoos. I convinced myself that this was Wal-Mart's fault. I contemplated buying boy Underoos and then I left to search the interwebs at home for Underoos info.

Fruit of the Loom owns the Underoos name now and their website claims to "offer a broad choice of children's decorated underwear, decorated with images of movie and/or cartoon characters." In fact, the website shows only one option for girls' Underoos and they are Dora the Explorer themed. An Amazon search led me to more Super Hero Underoos for boys, but none for girls. My rage led me to make homemade Wonder Woman pajamas. The shirt design is based on the old-school Wonder Woman Underoos. It isn't perfect, but I know that Violet will squeal with delight when she sees them and that is all that matters. Fruit of the Loom isn't off the hook yet. Me and my pal Wonder Woman will come up with a plan to teach them a lesson, Super Friends' style!

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