Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Million Dollar Baby: Part 4

Part 1, Part 2, & Part 3...




While I was enjoying the seduction of a transvaginal ultrasound wand, my sainted husband was enduring the indignity of masturbating into a little plastic cup... immediately after completing the equivalent of a hundred yard dash.

Apparently, the sperm centrifuge cannot, under any circumstances, be used after 3 PM.  There are no exceptions. Aaron was still in his probationary period at work and he was on first shift,  7 AM - 2 PM.  He also had a 45 minute commute (still does).  I try not to think about how many traffic laws were broken in our pursuit of reproduction. Somehow, Aaron always managed to arrive safely, with enough time to do his business and deliver the specimen to the sperm washer.  If he ran from the car, he even had time to enjoy a little bit of the complimentary porn.

At $300 a shot (hardy har har), it was like buying a really lazy hooker, with a 15 minute time limit.

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