Friday, August 29, 2008

This Bastard is Already Making My Life Harder

I live in the steel-cage-death-match-battleground state of Ohio. I also happen to live in the only consistently Democratic county in the Buckeye State. So, it should have been no surprise to me that John McCain would announce his VP pick right in my backyard. It was, however, a tremendous surprise to discover our lowly ghetto street being prepped for police action when we returned from breakfast this morning. Normally, orange cones and perpendicular police vehicles means fire or a drunken domestic hostage situation. The Heathen Family got home just in time to park before the police advised us that we would not even be allowed to stand on the sidewalk in front of our home while McCain's motorcade passed. My position on this year's election is firmly on the side of a certain handsome man named Obama, but I still found myself momentarily starstruck when I caught a glimpse of Mr. Straight Talk (I think I saw him anyway) in the window of a champagne colored Suburban. I mean, he's been on the Daily Show several times and if watching buses counts that means there is only one degree separating me from Jon Stewart (the only man I would ever consider having an affair with). Violet caught my euphoria and began shouting that McCain was coming. After we watched the buses go by, she immediately wanted to know when Barack would be arriving. Her heart cannot be easily stolen by political pandering.

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