Violet's first birthday has come and gone and it was not the experience I had hoped it would be. I have learned a very important lesson about family. Do not mix your own family with your in-laws! I cannot stress this point too strongly. Maybe my in-laws are the problem. Maybe it's my family. It's like oil and water. You introduce everyone and ten seconds later they have retreated to their respective corners. Never invite friends into the affair either. I felt like I should apologize for the suffocating tension in the air. All of this, plus the pressure to have a memorable experience made Violet miserable. It was like we were torturing her! I felt like I was being tortured. Then there was the usual in-law family drama. All of it stemming from the fact that they are almost incapable of showing affection and when they do it somehow crosses comfort boundaries and widens the gulf even more. My family is very affectionate. We smooth over all of our bullshit with hugs and kisses. The polarity is unsettling and I'm sure that my poor daughter will spend years in therapy trying to reconcile the huge differences in her two families. "Now which ones like to be hugged Mommy?"
2 weeks ago
