Friday, July 23, 2010

My Lost Week

So, I forgot that my blog does not transmit directly from my head (if someone could invent that I'd really appreciate it, 'kay).  I must now attempt to recap, without getting all epic in length or sacrificing my charming story telling style.

My niece and nephew came to visit. They normally reside in Arizona, where I've been told the heat is dry and the scorpions are like 99% guaranteed NOT to get in your house.  Mosquitoes and humidity were a frequent topic of concern for the kids, especially the boy, who seemed to have a leaky faucet attached to the top of his skull and a new welt every 10 minutes.

Violet had a birthday and a party and got very little direct attention from her mother for approximately 6 days and appears to be unharmed by the experience. Of course, she crawled into my bed almost every night, so I guess I shouldn't start weeping for the loss of my sweet, needy baby just yet.

This innocent fun is totally and completely illegal in Arizona. Like, zero tolerance illegal, not Ohio (we look the other way one weekend a year) illegal. The box of cheap sparklers we bought could potentially burn down the whole state.  The kids were elated and felt like they were doing something naughty. It was pretty entertaining to watch.

We also spent a day at the water park, for which there are mercifully no photographs. Aaron and I brought home black and blue souvenirs on the shoulder and ass respectively.  Water slides really are built for young people. Violet learned that the lazy river is a dangerous hazard, where you cannot even trust your own mother to prevent you from drowning. Also...peeing in pools is totally okay in Grandma's book, but that's a post for another day. 

We left the water park just as it started to storm and headed straight to the refuge of Bob Evans, which is an Ohio temple of senior citizen cuisine and all-day breakfast. The girl was excited to try something new and by "new" I mean enough food to feed a girls' softball team. She ate bacon, eggs, potatoes, stuffed cinnamon pancakes, one of her brother's chicken fingers and a hunk of my chicken fried steak. It was a sight to behold!
We went bowling.  We walked. We dressed the girl up in my senior prom dress and forced her to pose for pictures in the 90 degree heat. We visited the art museum and played corn hole. We got comic books and made photo albums and schemed about ways to make money for future plane tickets. We watched challenging movies and talked about important stuff and stupid stuff equally. There was some farting and squabbling and whining, but it was a good time.

Today, I packed them up and sent them back and tried not to cry.

The End.

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