Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Enough About You...

...Let's talk about me.

Nonlinear Girl tagged me for a meme and sucked me into actually participating by putting into words all of my own weird, adolescent fears about... memes, which incidentally did not exist when I was a teenager and should therefore not carry any high school angst and yet they do.

I'm rambling.

The rules are: post 10 honest things about yourself and tag 7 people to do the same. I'm only tagging 3, because I am a non-conformist.

1.  I sometimes worry myself into a lather about whether or not my daughter will do something important with her life, because  I feel like I have  failed to do this in my own.  What is "something important"? I don't know.  I feel like being a mother IS important, but it's only one (albeit ginormous) stage in a woman's life and I am scrambling to find something to do once the full-time part of this gig is up. I'll always be a mother, but at some point I'll no longer be needed for 24 hour shifts.  I just want Violet to see me do something, anything. I am her first role model.

2.  I am desperately tired of my acne and my oily face and pretending like it doesn't bother me.  I've stopped trying to fix it and that usually works, right? Once you let go of a problem it solves itself, but my skin is not playing along. Grrrrr.

3.  I am a terrible housekeeper.  Sure, the laundry is under control and the dishes are done, but don't look at my ceiling fans.  I have layers of hairy dust on every surface higher than my reach.  I'm only 5'5". You do the math.

4.  I'm going to steal this one from my meme sponsor.  When my daughter gets really needy I just want to run away.  At bedtime, I am so touched out that I can't wait to get Violet to take a long bath.  This feeling, this involuntary resentment is one of the many reasons I have for limiting our family to one child. I just don't think I have enough for two.

5.  I am photographing a friend's wedding this month.  It's small and casual, but I felt like I REALLY needed to have a professional (looking) camera. I want to be taken seriously.  I feel better now that I have a "real" camera, even if it hasn't improved my photos that much (yet).

6.  I don't like my mother, but I try my hardest to be kind, just in case my own daughter ends up feeling the same way.  Karma, she is a bitch.

7.  I am afraid of my daughter's uni-brow.  I don't want her to be wrapped up in her looks or feel bad about her appearance, but it will have to be dealt with someday.  She will have to learn to pluck or wax or shave. I want her to have a healthy attitude about it and that's a hard sell.  "Here Honey, let me show you how to get rid of this completely superficial imperfection that has no bearing on your worth as a human being."  Sometimes, I Photoshop it and then I feel really awful.

8.  I suffer from creative tunnel vision. When I get stuck on a project or a certain craft, I forget about everything else. Right now, I am obsessed with photography, so my cooking has really suffered.  I just don't care about making tasty food or devoting time to meal planning.

9.  I am a binger and purger of stuff. I will accumulate fabric and yarn or clothes and shoes and then in a fit of clutter induced rage, I throw it all away. Well, I donate it away, really.

10.  I don't really like memes, but when the invitation comes wrapped in a compliment that strokes the most vain parts of my ego, I cannot resist.

There you go.  Here is a random photo of Violet not eating her lunch.  Take it as a Thank you and a nod to what I would normally post today, Wardrobe Wednesday.

Your turn:

Secret Mom Thoughts
Feet Off the Table

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