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| Disguised, so as to throw off internet predators. |
As much as I dismissed this irrational fear of internet predators, I also dwelled on it. I couldn't understand what she was so afraid of her. Cryptically, she had mentioned her husband worked "in technology" and that "he knows what's out there." What is out there exactly? Was I being naive? It gnawed at me for a long time. I meant to do some research and then I got distracted by the holidays and before I knew it I was putting my child in peril AGAIN by posting dozens of photos of her opening presents at various locations.
Facebook is all over the news now with its privacy issues and it has reminded me that I need to figure out his internet fear puzzle. I didn't think the privacy settings were that confusing, but whatever. I also have never had any illusions about what facebook's ultimate goal is: To sell shit. Do you think fb is really free? NO. It takes hundreds of employees to keep the site operating smoothly. Facebook needs to sell stuff to you and they do that by using all of the information that you have so graciously provided them. It is no different than Amazon and her relentless and eerily accurate suggestions for what you might like to buy next.
I don't mean to be glib. We should all stay vigilant about what information we share on the intertubes, but unless you walk around in a ski mask 24/7 your face is already public information. When someone sees you coming out of your house in the morning they assume you live there. They can see the license plate on your car and if they wanted to they could climb under it and get the VIN number and learn all sorts of information about you. I'm not suggesting that we all post our address and phone number on facebook, but consider this. The guy who sees you leave for work every morning is way more likely to do you or your family harm than some stranger who lands on your internet profile. Period.
“There is this characterization of pedophiles using the Internet as an L. L. Bean catalog, but this is not the way it happens,” says Prof. David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire.
Still not convinced? This is straight from The National Center for Victims of Crime:
- Strangers are the least likely perpetrators of sexual assault against children in cases reported to law enforcement: 3 percent of the youngest victims ages five and under, 5 percent of six- to eleven-year-olds, and 10 percent of teen victims were sexually assaulted by strangers.
Of course, some people are just skeeved by the idea of someone stealing images of their kids and doing weird stuff with them. The infamous (largely harmless) Brazilian teenage fad of making fake profiles on Orkut comes to mind. Digital photos are easy to take, easy to share and easy to steal. You wanna go back to film? I didn't think so.
Listen, I have been sharing photos of my child online since she was a baby. Nothing has ever happened. NOTHING. Am I lucky? Hell yeah! But statistically, it would seem that I am no more lucky than any other parent who has never had a child abducted or abused. Putting my daughter's photo on facebook, or this blog, carries no more risk than a trip to the playground, maybe even less.
Some other people have given this subject some thought. It's a big subject. Read up. You might need to defend your laissez faire security protocol with a
Two things -
ReplyDelete(1) My thing is never posting pictures of my kids in states of undress. I have adorable bath pictures, but I don't share those with the world.
(2) Realistically the more likely risk for someone like you (ie, someone who takes really good photographs) is that your photos will be used without your permission by a website not of your creation. A year or three ago Jim of Sweet Juniper learned one of his photos was being used by Babble without his permission (or licensing fees...)
*APPLAUSE*
ReplyDeleteI've had this conversation more times than I can count. People freak out at me for putting pictures on the Internet, and when I ask them what the big deal is, I'm lucky if they can stammer out something vague like, "there are creepy people out there!" And…? How are they going to affect me or my child? Oh, they're not? So then, why should I care? I've never gotten anyone to explain that to me in a way that makes any sense whatsoever. Sometimes people point out that someone could pleasure themselves while looking at a picture I put up, but if I'm never even going to know that it happened, I just can't be bothered to lose sleep over that. Whatever.
Like Nonlinear, I don't put up nude pictures of myself or my children. Otherwise, I'm more concerned about making it easier for the people I care about to see the pictures I take than I am about strangers stumbling upon them.
(P.S. I'm still confused about commenting here. I click on "Twitter" and a new tab opens up with an asterisk on it and that's it. WTF?)
Well said - my OH is CEOP officer at his school and delivers "training" for parents and kids regarding online safety and always makes sure to stress that the benefits of the interwebs dwarf the risks. One parent once asked what sort of email address her child should have, y'know, to put the paedophiles off.... uh... how about her NAME? All OH did was warn that xx_babee92_xx was a big flashing light saying "teen girl here!" but the stoopid woman couldn't then figure out an alternative. Moral panic, deviancy amplification spiral - aarrrrgh!
ReplyDeleteI get this! I hate having this conversation with people. My father is one of those paranoid people who doesn't want his picture on fb or any other internet site. But truthfully, even if you aren't posting photos, if you are online AT ALL people can find out any info about you that they wish. The only true way to remain anonymous anymore is to never log onto the internet EVER and then lock yourself in the closet with canned foods and I just haven't hit that level of paranoid yet. Though I do agree with the poster who talks about the various forms of undressed photos. I don't do bath time photos of our kids either, because well... that's just good common sense.
ReplyDeleteBrilliantly said, Kelly. I'm so tired to the freak-a-zoids coming down on me for sharing innocent pictures of my kids. My husband is one of them, so this will be required reading this weekend. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI have posted pics of Violet in the past where she is not entirely clothed, but I am more cautious than I used to be. Also, she is getting older and I don't want to infringe on her privacy.
ReplyDeleteYou are right about the chances of my photos being stolen. I need to be more proactive, but at the same time I like making my art accessible. I am terribly lazy about putting watermarks on my photos. I wish flickr had a button I could just press to add one when I upload.
Thanks!
ReplyDeleteYour comments seem to come through just fine on this side. I think the twitter thing lets you post your comment to twitter as well, although I don't why you would want to do that.
Ha! Some people are appalled that I have an e-mail address using my name. I like that I don't have to spell it to folks when I give it out. myname @gmail- dead simple. My husband's aunt uses an address that contains 11 consecutive letter Bs. I'm certain she doesn't get much mail.
ReplyDeleteEven before I started a blog, you could google my name and get a couple of hits. I choose to embrace technology and keep my eyes open to the risks and benefits. People were afraid of telephones too, once upon a time.
ReplyDeleteI hope I don't cause a fight! Only good things have come from my life on the internet. I have made friends and gained a lot of confidence as a writer and a photographer. If it weren't for the internet Violet would never have graced the cover of our metro parks guide.
ReplyDeleteOH, my Gawd! Thank you darling! Exactly what I've been feeling! I know how to use the controls and I use them, damn it. Maybe you and I are in the camp that the majority of people are average, happy-go-lucky folks like ourselves that just want to connect to other interested souls out there.
ReplyDeleteI was right there with you. I was with a group of women explaining the FB to them and they were all worried and fearful about who might get their stuff. I didn't have an answer, but I was flabbergasted that they didn't want to try out this interesting way to connect. I even use it with my in real life friends to just banter back and forth when I don't see them all day cause I'm at work! I might see them that night, or once a week, but hey, it's nice to keep the conversation going. I can say my bit on my time, she can say her bit when she gets a chance, then I can come back and chuckle at her cleverness, a real pick me up in my nasty work life. I think this goes along with the woman who wouldn't let her child use the drinking fountain (ok really?) And there are studies that state that children who grow up around animals, on a farm, and/or with lots of siblings have strong and healthy immune systems. We need our children to eat dirt!!!! And maybe forget to wash their hands every once in a while.
I try to be understanding and let those people wallow in their fear, but I feel sorry for them, like they're cutting themselves off from new experiences because of the fear.
Hear! Hear!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, 100%
Thank you, Kelly!! You have said so eloquently what I have thought for a very long time.
ReplyDeleteI totally wish they had an easy button for watermarks too.
ReplyDeleteOh, good news. I love you. : )
ReplyDeleteI think you're right on with this... and thank you thank you thank you for writing about it and putting the issue straight in such an informed, thoughtful manner!!
ReplyDelete